Ok where to begin? I was born in Norwich, England. My father was in the military and we travelled around a lot, so I don’t consider myself to really come from anywhere specific, although when asked I refer to where my Grandfather lives, mostly because his cottage has been within my mothers side of the family for a VERY long time. My Grandfather was born in the cottage. I am the eldest of five, I have three sisters and one brother, how many step-siblings I have is anyone’s guess? My two younger sisters are pregnant, the babies are due a month apart and I believe both are having girls, I don’t really speak to any of them that often and have to rely on my mother for updates as far as to how they are doing, I guess you could say that we aren’t that close, life has a way of sticking things in the way, do you know what I mean? Work, your own family issues, distance etc. Besides sometimes things are just simpler without all the drama, I have had enough drama to last a lifetime!
When I turned seventeen I got pregnant with my first baby, someone very wise said to me the other day that just because we think we are ready to have babies, just because our bodies are ready to have babies doesn’t mean we are ready to have babies. It’s funny how time changes the way you think, he is nearly 14 years old now and if you asked me now what I thought I would tell you that I was far to young but I also remember thinking at the time that I was so ready to have a baby, that somehow despite how frightened I felt, how uncertain I was about my future about the future for my baby, I remember thinking that, that was what I wanted. I got married in the August (to the babies daddy) had Alexander in the September and turned 18 in the October… All my ideals, went right out the window they were totally trampled on and I changed from a mostly optimistic happy person to a miserable and withered depressed person. Suffering with post-natal depression, which although was known of, it wasn’t widely diagnosed and I went untreated for a very long time… Alex wasn’t an easy baby to care for either (I compare him to how it was with my daughter) He would cry for hours and hours, although at the time I didn’t really think much of it, but as he progressed he displayed odd behavior, an obsession with keys, he really enjoyed taking things apart, at the time it annoyed me and made me cross because he would often break things, hind sight is a wonderful thing, I now realize that it wasn’t that he was breaking them on purpose, he took these things apart to see how they worked and to put them back together, he developed a keen interest in anything electrical computers, stereo systems, cameras etc and he had a vocabulary of about 22-30 words by the time he was 11 months old, although he wasn’t able to string a sentence together for quite a while! He has an incredibly keen eye, my mother was telling me the other day that, she bought a wrought iron gazebo, it didn’t come with instructions as to how to build it because she bought it straight off the floor it was the last one in the store so it was that or nothing, she took Alex down to the bottom of her garden thinking that it would keep him busy for a little while, Alex took one look at this gazebo and knew exactly how to build it, he had seen it in the store when he went shopping with his dad one weekend! He did help my mother build it. He always and still does play “hangout” with kids a few years younger than he is, his peers cause an extreme amount of anxiety which in turn causes bad behavior, tantrums and misunderstandings. Alex is a very special little boy, he has Aspergers Syndrome, it’s a high functioning form of Autism… Which I will get into at a later date.
Abbygail is my daughter she is 11 and has had it quite hard, most of the attention was always on her brother, for obvious reasons. I would and still do get mad when I watch a documentary about a family with children who have multiple children, with birth defects or handicaps and then have one or two “normal” children, mostly because and I am guilty of it myself, the special needs child tends to be a priority, it’s not something you set out to do, it happens over time and the more it happens the less you notice what is right in front of your eyes, for a long time Abby was dragged along the ride, missed out on things that she had a right too simply because Alex was hard work and took up all of my attention and my Ex husbands. All things considered she is an incredibly well adjusted little girl and I am so very proud of her.
When I turned seventeen I got pregnant with my first baby, someone very wise said to me the other day that just because we think we are ready to have babies, just because our bodies are ready to have babies doesn’t mean we are ready to have babies. It’s funny how time changes the way you think, he is nearly 14 years old now and if you asked me now what I thought I would tell you that I was far to young but I also remember thinking at the time that I was so ready to have a baby, that somehow despite how frightened I felt, how uncertain I was about my future about the future for my baby, I remember thinking that, that was what I wanted. I got married in the August (to the babies daddy) had Alexander in the September and turned 18 in the October… All my ideals, went right out the window they were totally trampled on and I changed from a mostly optimistic happy person to a miserable and withered depressed person. Suffering with post-natal depression, which although was known of, it wasn’t widely diagnosed and I went untreated for a very long time… Alex wasn’t an easy baby to care for either (I compare him to how it was with my daughter) He would cry for hours and hours, although at the time I didn’t really think much of it, but as he progressed he displayed odd behavior, an obsession with keys, he really enjoyed taking things apart, at the time it annoyed me and made me cross because he would often break things, hind sight is a wonderful thing, I now realize that it wasn’t that he was breaking them on purpose, he took these things apart to see how they worked and to put them back together, he developed a keen interest in anything electrical computers, stereo systems, cameras etc and he had a vocabulary of about 22-30 words by the time he was 11 months old, although he wasn’t able to string a sentence together for quite a while! He has an incredibly keen eye, my mother was telling me the other day that, she bought a wrought iron gazebo, it didn’t come with instructions as to how to build it because she bought it straight off the floor it was the last one in the store so it was that or nothing, she took Alex down to the bottom of her garden thinking that it would keep him busy for a little while, Alex took one look at this gazebo and knew exactly how to build it, he had seen it in the store when he went shopping with his dad one weekend! He did help my mother build it. He always and still does play “hangout” with kids a few years younger than he is, his peers cause an extreme amount of anxiety which in turn causes bad behavior, tantrums and misunderstandings. Alex is a very special little boy, he has Aspergers Syndrome, it’s a high functioning form of Autism… Which I will get into at a later date.
Abbygail is my daughter she is 11 and has had it quite hard, most of the attention was always on her brother, for obvious reasons. I would and still do get mad when I watch a documentary about a family with children who have multiple children, with birth defects or handicaps and then have one or two “normal” children, mostly because and I am guilty of it myself, the special needs child tends to be a priority, it’s not something you set out to do, it happens over time and the more it happens the less you notice what is right in front of your eyes, for a long time Abby was dragged along the ride, missed out on things that she had a right too simply because Alex was hard work and took up all of my attention and my Ex husbands. All things considered she is an incredibly well adjusted little girl and I am so very proud of her.
December 31st 2009 I got married again and became Mrs. Dodds and a step-parent to two beautiful girls and this is where my real story begins……
Hi Beckey! Looks like a lot of us are moving over here from AR! Glad to find you - I always enjoyed your blogs... Mother Ann
ReplyDeleteYour kids are beautiful. My BFF had to make tough choices too. Her eldest has Spinal Bifida and she had 3 others after. Back then medicine didn't offer much help or hope. Today the oldest is living in her own apartment, teaching school and lives life to the fullest. The other 3 have grown to be wonderful adults too.
ReplyDeleteGlad you decided to write again.
I think this is a lovely introduction...glad to see your still blogging.
ReplyDeleteThank you! I had almost given up on the blogging, all the fun had been sucked out of it, I know that what I think and do, isn't always going to be what someone else would do! All opinions are important and I believe that someone elses opinion can help shape our own, open our eyes or make us more aware of something we weren't able to see before, but I also believe that we all have a right to live our lives to the best of our own ability!
ReplyDelete