Fish and Bean Casserole

I try not to get into the battle of who is right and who is wrong anymore, when it comes to my Ex. There are times when I can’t help myself, but I have gotten to a point where it seems pointless, I can’t change anything, it is what it is and I am quite sure that in his version of events he feels just as wronged as me. The truth of it though is we were equally to blame, we each had our own part in what happened, and I am (said with a huge sigh) certain that some will say it was doomed from the very start. Going right back to the start though, all the way back to the beginning. He alone is to blame only for the beginning though. He is 17 years older than me the same age gap pretty much as there is between my son and I. I was too young and vulnerable back then, messed up, desperate to be loved and feel wanted and incredibly insecure not just with how I looked but within myself in general, convinced I had no real friends and that I was virtually alone in the world. There was of course the “secret” which although will always remain a “secret” loomed over me like a bad omen, that fear that someone might find out and judge me for that too, it was enough to make me feel truly worthless. My Ex is to blame for how it started because he should have known better than to take advantage of someone so much younger than him, no matter how mature I may have seemed at the time. Most of the time these days I rarely dwell on what was, my past mistakes. I just get enraged with the present and how things are, now, but what was, needs to be left there. Despite that though I am crassly reminded of him, every time I try something new, particularly this sort of recipe, because you can safely bet he wouldn’t have allowed this one and if he had, he would have made a fuss about how horrid it was. When Abby was here I made a pasta dish, which she chose (I will post that recipe eventually) in total it cost me about £7.00 to make it. It serves four and that was with generous helpings, that’s £1.75 a head if you hadn’t worked it out already, but according to Abby’s father it was too expensive to make, at least that was he reasoning when she took the recipe home with her – I have come to the conclusion though that it had more to do with the fact I gave her the recipe than to do with the fact it was too expensive, and that in part he does it on purpose by buying the most expensive ingredients, and  we get back to the you pay for the quality you can afford.. Hand on heart I know that the best quality ingredients are going to make an outstanding dish, of course they are but if you can’t afford them you have to buy cheaper. It’s that simple, I won’t go without so I buy what I like to call midrange ingredients, better than the super cheap, less expensive than the best quality that my budget won’t allow for. You’ll have to compromise somewhere, I will for example buy proper Philadelphia cream cheese if I am going to eat it pure, on a sandwich or crackers, but unless it is on special offer, if I am making a cheesecake which uses lots of other ingredients too, I use the cheaper no brand variety. It’s quite simple, when you are on a tight budget you must choose your products carefully. The biggest trick though is to have a constant supply of kitchen staples in your cupboards. Each family is different and my staples won’t be the same as yours, but whatever they maybe, things like a selection of oils, herbs and spices, tinned tomatoes, pasta, grains and rice, tuna, tomato puree, etc. that way when you are looking at a recipe, you’re only having to buy the main ingredients not the entire list. This next recipe for example, I would only have to but the red pepper, butter beans, cherry tomatoes and cod fillet. I am not saying this cuts down on the cost of the meal, of course it doesn’t but with these staples in the cupboard already, it cuts the costs further down the line.  

Fish and Bean Casserole

1 large red pepper, halved and deseeded

3tbsp olive oil

4 rashers/slices of bacon cut into bits

4 garlic cloves, finely chopped

1 onion thinly sliced

2tsp paprika

1 tsp smoked paprika

Generous pinch of saffron

400g can of butter beans, drained and rinsed

600ml fish of veg stock

6 plum or cherry tomatoes, cut into quarters

350g skinned cod fillet, cut into chunks

3tbsp fresh parsley, plus extra to garnish

Salt and pepper to taste

Fresh bruschetta to serve

1. Place the red pepper, cut-side down, in the grill pan. Grill the pepper under a hot heat for about10-15 minutes, until the skin is black. Then place the pepper in a ziplock freezer bag and leave to sweat for about 10 minutes. The bag should stream up which will make the process of peeling the skin off a little easier. Once this is done, peel off the skin and chop into large chunks.
2. Next you need to heat the olive oil in a large skillet, add the bacon and the garlic, fry for a couple of minutes, then add the sliced onion. Cover the pan with either a lid or foil and leave to cook for around 5 minutes, stir in the two paprika, saffron and season to taste with salt and pepper.
3. Add your beans and just enough stock to cover them. Bring the stock to a boil and simmer for 15 minutes stir every now and again so it won’t stick.
4. Add the peppers and tomatoes give it a good stir, then add the cod covering them in the sauce, simmer, with the lid on for about 5 minutes until the fish is cooked, stir in the parsley.
5. Serve the stew into the bowls, garnish with parsley sprigs, with bruschetta.