The modern day wife Vs Mrs Beetons idea of a wife

I don’t know about you, but I pride myself on being a modern woman, always have done. I was a full time working mother by the time my daughter was just over a year old. I’ll admit that I struggled though, with keeping the balance right, my job at work was physically taxing and at times emotionally too. I was working long hours and coming home was never any fun, in fact I would go so far as to saying I hated going home, because it felt as though it was my job to do everything there too. Put the kids to bed, do all the cooking and cleaning make sure their father had an ironed shirt for the next day at work, etc. etc. eventually I just gave up trying, I was depressed, miserable and exhausted all the time and I never got to have any fun. Switching off and shutting down was the only way I could get through each day alive. That might sound melodramatic and perhaps you’d be right for thinking that, but I thought I was dying, I wanted to at times, I didn’t feel like I had anything to live for. I felt as though my daughter was being taken away from me, her grandmother had on occasion referred to her as being her daughter. As for Alex he has no respect for me, and treated me as such, he had been taught that it’s a woman’s job to go out and work full time, but because I’m a woman it wasn’t a proper job, only men have proper jobs. Then I had to come home and essentially start all over again doing everything there too. When his father was dating, I heard Alex say “My Dad’s new girlfriend is way better than my Mum, she does all the cooking, cleaning, laundry and she buys us treats like a proper Mum does” Those words will stay with me forever, but not for the reason you most likely think, I should have felt jealous maybe that MY son thought another woman was better than me, but in truth the comment just washed over me and for the first time since I left instead of guilt, I felt relief. It was at that moment I knew I had done what was best for me, because I would never have been free of that chauvinistic attitude.

How does any of that have to do with recipes and food? Well I purchased Mrs Beeton’s, The book of home management. It was first published 152 years ago and I was curious I guess to see how far we have come, or haven’t as the case maybe? Mrs Beeton wrote the book throughout her early 20s and saw it published at the age of 25. Mrs Beeton was of the opinion that husbands frequented, clubs, taverns and dining houses because of housewives ‘household mismanagement,’ badly cooked meals and untidy ways. The objective of her book was to help wives get their house in order, to keep a comfortable home as well as being able to cook a good meal. Mrs Beeton talks at great length about how a mistress should run her household, what friends she should keep, how to behave in public, how she should treat her children, even what time to ‘retire to bed in order to rise early.’ Only when you get to chapter four does it even get to cookery. Where does that leave us though in today’s society? After all women are going out to work and supposed to have equal rights. My children’s father treats women as though we are still living 152 years in the past, only he frequents a more modern source of ‘entertainment.’ And it seems as though my son is going down the same path. I’m certain that I wasn’t isolated in the way I was treated, now that my life has changed for the better, I wonder how that divide is split, and whether or not we can go from one extreme to the other?

Glen is what I would call a meet me in the middle man. He does most of the laundry, he vacuums daily, always pushes the shopping cart or carries the basket, he carries all the shopping bags, opens doors, assists me with my seat, fills my car with petrol, always does the ironing and anything else that I may need help with. In return I do all the meals, empty and load the dishwasher, and any other chores that need doing such as wiping, moping, dusting, cleaning and polishing. Whatever else needs doing, basically. We work because we have a mutual respect for each other. Where does cooking come into it? Well I cook meals that we both enjoy, I go into the kitchen and produce a good meal, made with love and an eagerness to please my husband, and right there is the crux of what I am talking about. I am a modern day woman, open to equal opportunities, I work, I clean and I cook, I am eager to keep my man happy and interested in me, so what is different this time around? I enjoy it because I know if I come home from work tired, with sore knees and back, Glen is going to get things done, he’ll run me a bath, bring me a cup of coffee, and rub whatever pain-relieving ointment I may have in my medicine cabinet, into my ailment. That’s what’s different today. Do I live my life by Mrs Beeton’s philosophy? Absolutely to a certain extent, would I want to change that for a more modern way of life? Not on your life, I like domesticated me, I like being barefoot and in the kitchen, I like that my husband’s role is that of the protector,  I like being the housewife, because what I do is appreciated and not indicative of being the ‘little woman.’ Besides my role in the kitchen is where I get all my ideas for my blog.